English Jokes Collection

[**PI**]

Grape Obessesion

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"

Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes."

Duck says "okay." and he leaves.

The next day the duck comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"

The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes."

The duck says "Okay." and he leaves.

The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?"

The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!"

The duck replies "Okay," and leaves.

The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?" The man at the counter says "No."

The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"

 

[**PI**]

Forest bathroom

A rabbit opened a washroom stand in the forest that allows the animals to choose what kind of music they want to listen to while using the washroom. One day, a squirrel went to test out this new washroom and tells the rabbit to play him some techno. The squirrel goes in and does his business and when he comes out he says,
"Yo rabbit, this bathroom is off the hook, i'll definately recommed this to one of my friends."
The next day lizard comes and tell the rabbit to put on some rap while he does his business. When he finishes he comes out and says,
"Rabbit this is the shit, i'll tell my homeboyz to check you out!"
The next day a bear comes and he has to use the bathroom really badly because he ate some bad food.
"Hey bear, what kind of music you want?" says the rabbit.
"Wat ever man, i'm gonna shit my pants!" explains the bear.
So the rabbit didn't know what to so he played the national anthem. The weird thing was when the bear came out he was covered in shit so he ran home to change.
The next day a bunch of the animals meet up for coffee and they all start talking about the washroom and how great it is. And then the bear says,
"F*** that! The stupid rabbit started playing the national anthem so i had to stand up and i ended up shiting all over me"

 

[**PI**]

Honeymoon (Made everyone laugh so far)

A new couple go on their honeymoon and since they come from a small town they never had sex and didn’t know how to do it. So the guy decides to call his father to ask.
"Hey pops, what am I suppose to do?"
"Listen son, you take the body part that is the hardest at the time and stick it where your woman pisses."
So the guy hangs up the phone and is trying to figure out what his father meant.
Half-an-hour later the girl calls her mother for advice.
"Hey mom, I don’t know what to do my idiot husband stuck his head in the toilet and now he can't get it out, what do I do?

 

[garzar]

es doubleyou ti = swt ....... gimana sempet bacanya keburu tewa.........

 

[Handyplast]

kk ajarin bahasa inggris donk/wah

 

[D@rK]

/swt /swt i can die in laught if like this /heh /heh

 

[**PI**]

kk ajarin bahasa inggris donk/wah

nggak tau bahasa inggris ? tiarap aja deh kalo nggak ngerti